A medieval Robin Hood did his best to take from the rich and give to the poor
The Medieval Thought of the Day
“I'm puzzled. Day in, day out, it feels more and more like living in the 13th Century in Vancouver. I don’t know about you, but I am at an impasse. Should I go into archery? Should I register my kids in falconry classes? Would hunting be a good career choice for me, should I start buying frog skin, you know for future barter?”
Our modern landlords like Vision Vancouver here, made sure that the year 2011 felt just like one year out of the Middle Ages. Read and compare a Then meeting with any of Today’s meetings (transcripts free on http://www.vancouver.ca).
Following Excerpt from “The Legend of Robbing the Hood” might clear some queries; so, go chew the fat!
The Setting: City Hall Castle, Throne Chambers.
The Deed: Working feast; buffet, eat all you can grab or kill…
The Background: Stanleywood Forest in NothingForSure
The Court: Maid Reimer and the other Ladies in Waiting, seated, looking good, feeling good, giggling; in one corner, the friendly Louie the Court Jester is playing with a goat. Rough. Also present, Hollyhock guests, Union vassals, assorted athletic knights with rings, warlords, and of course the “bloody, lazy” local peasants, hat in hands, to be pardoned “for the fun of it” during the feast. Tim the Master painter is quietly penciling as His Worship is nursing a free run turkey drumstick.
After a long regal belch, His Lordship boringly looking at the first group of peasants :“Ay, thus leeches, never haveth enough of me kindness“ waves a hand at the group of menestrels headed by Kerry the Rebec and invites them to play something to go with his appetite. David the Squire pours worryingly another of them grapes elixir into His Worship’s goblet; meanwhile Lytil Brother Meggs bows nobly and starts playing the lute in sotto voce:
“Robbing the Hode een Scherewode stod,
While shadowy skies, pouring like a bitch,
His thoughts, mischievous, weeakh and ohodd,
Grab from the poor, bestow to the rich.
Grahahaab from the phuuuuer,
Beheestow to the Reeech!
La ra la, la la la, la la la la, la ra la …”
Lady Heather, graciously moving in her corseted green velvety dress, coordinated with a turquoise cape, directs the flow of peasants in front of His Worship. “Cmmon’ you buggers, put down them roosters, bow and skedaddle to the right of center, you ne’er-do-well pebbles”
The peasants retire orderly through the Misery wing of the Castle, humming in chorus the Cuckoo song:
“Sumer is icumen in,
Lhude, sing cuccu!
Groweth sed, and bloweth med,
And springth the wude nu!”
As they exit, George the Taxman is collecting the MHT (Medieval Heraldic Tithe) while
another tray of deep fried suckling pig balls is served at room temperature, more Cold “Budgetwurst” Cuts to come. Boar’s heads, venison, peacocks, swans, cranes, plovers, and larks…
More whine and ballads…
What else to expect, 1210AD, eh? Do you see what I mean?
To them in the “Hall”... another day, another Billon Dineros.
For some a Feast for the rest... the Beast.
We live in Vancouver and this keeps us busy.
Post by Glissando Remmy. You can follow us on Twitter @CityCaucus. Or you can follow Glissando on Twitter @GlissandoRemmy. Please note that Glissando Remmy it the nom de plume for this author.