The legend of Robbing the Hood - Vancouver style

Post by Glissando Remmy in

19 comments

robinhood.jpg
A medieval Robin Hood did his best to take from the rich and give to the poor

The Medieval Thought of the Day

“I'm puzzled. Day in, day out, it feels more and more like living in the 13th Century in Vancouver. I don’t know about you, but I am at an impasse. Should I go into archery? Should I register my kids in falconry classes? Would hunting be a good career choice for me, should I start buying frog skin, you know for future barter?”

Our modern landlords like Vision Vancouver here, made sure that the year 2011 felt just like one year out of the Middle Ages. Read and compare a Then meeting with any of Today’s meetings (transcripts free on http://www.vancouver.ca).

Following Excerpt from “The Legend of Robbing the Hood” might clear some queries; so, go chew the fat!

TheYear:1210AD
The Setting: City Hall Castle, Throne Chambers.
The Deed: Working feast; buffet, eat all you can grab or kill…
The Background: Stanleywood Forest in NothingForSure
The Court: Maid Reimer and the other Ladies in Waiting, seated, looking good, feeling good, giggling; in one corner, the friendly Louie the Court Jester is playing with a goat. Rough. Also present, Hollyhock guests, Union vassals, assorted athletic knights with rings, warlords, and of course the “bloody, lazy” local peasants, hat in hands, to be pardoned “for the fun of it” during the feast. Tim the Master painter is quietly penciling as His Worship is nursing a free run turkey drumstick.

After a long regal belch, His Lordship boringly looking at the first group of peasants :“Ay, thus leeches, never haveth enough of me kindness“ waves a hand at the group of menestrels headed by Kerry the Rebec and invites them to play something to go with his appetite. David the Squire pours worryingly another of them grapes elixir into His Worship’s goblet; meanwhile Lytil Brother Meggs bows nobly and starts playing the lute in sotto voce:

“Robbing the Hode een Scherewode stod,
While shadowy skies, pouring like a bitch,
His thoughts, mischievous, weeakh and ohodd,
Grab from the poor, bestow to the rich.
Grahahaab from the phuuuuer,
Beheestow to the Reeech!
La ra la, la la la, la la la la, la ra la …”

Lady Heather, graciously moving in her corseted green velvety dress, coordinated with a turquoise cape, directs the flow of peasants in front of His Worship. “Cmmon’ you buggers, put down them roosters, bow and skedaddle to the right of center, you ne’er-do-well pebbles”

The peasants retire orderly through the Misery wing of the Castle, humming in chorus the Cuckoo song:

“Sumer is icumen in,
Lhude, sing cuccu!
Groweth sed, and bloweth med,
And springth the wude nu!”

As they exit, George the Taxman is collecting the MHT (Medieval Heraldic Tithe) while
another tray of deep fried suckling pig balls is served at room temperature, more Cold “Budgetwurst” Cuts to come. Boar’s heads, venison, peacocks, swans, cranes, plovers, and larks…

More whine and ballads…

What else to expect, 1210AD, eh? Do you see what I mean?
To them in the “Hall”... another day, another Billon Dineros.
For some a Feast for the rest... the Beast.

We live in Vancouver and this keeps us busy.

Post by Glissando Remmy. You can follow us on Twitter @CityCaucus. Or you can follow Glissando on Twitter @GlissandoRemmy. Please note that Glissando Remmy it the nom de plume for this author.

19 Comments

I think His Worship is actually nursing a free tofurky.

I agree with Bruce Allen's commentary these clowns are finished on Nov 19,2011

Glissy:

You are not the only 'story teller' hard at work today! (from twitter)

kurtgheinrich Kurt Heinrich

Working on some amazing stories for @VSB39 - excited to share them soon! #bced

By my troth, Max, Kurt is the twitmeister of twitmeisters.

Who so shall telle a tale after a man,
He moste reherse, as neighe as ever he can,
Everich word, if it be in his charge,
All speke he never so rudely and so large;
Or elles he moste tellen his tale untrewe,
Or feinen thinges, or finden wordes newe.

Glissy, I finally had my laugh for today, to feed me throughout the weekend... impeccable local jargon. The image of "Lady Heather, graciously moving in her corseted green velvety dress" will haunt me for ever LOL!
As for the "other storyteller" LOL Heinrich the scam artist Kurt, thinking of it, he is Robbing My Hood in fact every Vancouver School Hood.
"Grab from the poor, bestow to the rich.
Grahahaab from the phuuuuer,
Beheestow to the Reeech!
La ra la, la la la, la la la la, la ra la …”
Priceless, Glissy, priceless!
BTW, are we ever going to find out who you really are...curios fellow here.

Well put Glissando.
This is exactly why Vision will go to the dungeons of local politics come next November. Just take the latest Shannon Mews flip/flip and flip...
Loved the verse, and love you!
Ta da

The Thought of The Night

"Storyteller? No. I see myself more of a humble thought grower. Now and then, I throw a handful of thought seeds on a patch of fertile minds and I hope for the best... you know, the whole shebang, the man who brings the rain - dance, clouds, wind, rain,..."

Max,
i am not even considering Kurt Heinrich a 'teller' unless he is the half of the duo Penny and Teller. One to do the magic tricks, the other to do the pantomiming.
One big difference between us though. One is a hired hand. The other is not hired... by any hand.

It is still of my opinion that following this partisan 'hire' Vancouver School Board have officially entered in a contract with the Hollyhock Family.
"Stealing candy from schoolkids is allowed as long as those kids are not OUR kids and not from OUR schools' - Solomon Commandments, Chapter 69, Line 15, Commandment 500

We live in Vancouver and this keeps us busy.

PS.
David Hadaway
Loved those old English words. Very suitable... considering.
Re. one of your older comments 'trip for me to Hollyhock All Inclusive' LMAO!, I can only imagine myself as the Fox inside their Chicken Coop.
Mayhem!
I suggest a better idea... send my wife, any wife, every wife there...Two Birds, One Stone! :-)

Funny, when I was a kid, someone who told 'stories' was someone who didn't tell the truth.....

Story telling is not necessary lying Max! At least not in Glissando's case IMHO. He uses all his imagination for our benefit actually, so I for one am thankful for it. I rather get the bad news with a cube of sugar, the way he/ she delivers it. Now I may have misunderstood you so don't take it personally.
In the case of Kurt Heinrich on the other hand ... we have a paid Vision party operative infiltrated inside the ranks of Van. Sch.Brd bureaucrats. That IMHO is unacceptable. To read about this punk bragging again on twitter is a treat in itself, his stupidity transcends any piece of satire.
Way to go Glissy!

@ Michelle:

No, of course not Glissy, I was referring to Kurt and the reference to 'story telling' on his resume, twitter feed and within twitter posts.:)

Glissando dear friend,
That was a smoking dame right there!
You must have done a great deal of research, I suspect, as I haven't encountered so many old English words and titles since my travels throughout the weathered Albion.
I could try my hand at poetry but I rather let you continue do that. Thanks again for a lovely 'legend', we had good laughs and collected wisdom.
By for now, and a great weekend ahead,
Dr. Richard Unger (MD Ret.)

Excellent weekend feature!
LMAO!
I attended a number of City Council meetings in the past (once as a public speaker to the Council, and a few times in a business capacity) and I cannot stretch enough the fact that this council are in dire need to have colonoscopy performed on them. And soon. The big pineapple stuck up their asses might hit some vital organ soon. And this is valid for the immediate city staff too, or as per Glissando... their "court".
If I ever wanted to hire someone to paint this council on canvass, I could not think for a better man/ woman than Glissando here...only he/she'll do it with words.
That would be great. :-) It already is! xxx

Max, why do you even bring KH in to the equation? What I see here is EXACTLY like Kurt's Salieri to Glissando's Amadeus. OK, maybe I went too far. Or did I? :-) xxx

own up dude! very funny own up dude!

Very much fun to read. Quite surprising.
"Lytil Brother Meggs bows nobly and starts playing the lute" Actually Brother Meggs is playing many instruments, yet he's still light years away from mastering any of them.
***** @ Glissando Remmy

By the way you write Niki, you are some sort of blue collar Vision Union pal. I don't really care who Glissando is as long he makes sense in his writing. And all the points are very valid points, we get it...you don't!

Way to go Glissy. Liked it very much! Own DOWN DUDE!

The Thought of The Night

"The one who 'Owns Up',Dude... is most likely to end... 'Wounded Up' so..."

Niki, it took me some time to look up what the hell this BS is all about. Fat chance with that! A 'BS movement' started by a vigilante group similar to the one that went after the Napster clients. To this group I say "Up Yours!"
I know it must be frustrating when you cannot bully your message on to everyone, for different reasons, the typical MO of the undeserving people who once in positions of power acquired through nepotism and cronyism want to protect the Queen Bee of All of Them by controlling the information, and by massaging the outcome.
It must be warm and cozy for Riotson, Money Penny, Aufochs their guru Joel
and the rest of the company inside the Castle Hall walls...for now, for now!

We live in vancouver and this keeps us busy.

I liked it very much. Very actual. Forget the non-believers.
Cheers

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